


From Ash Into Being

by NightValeian



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 22:29:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14482575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightValeian/pseuds/NightValeian
Summary: !!!! IW Spoilers !!!!Steve hadn’t allowed himself to cry when Bucky disappeared, but now that he was here in front of him, he couldn’t seem to stop.





	From Ash Into Being

**Author's Note:**

> Baby's First Stuck Fic.

_Steve?_

The word echoed through his mind as he stared in disbelief at the pile of ash that had once been Bucky Barnes. The last word he’d spoken had been Steve’s name and he’d been afraid while doing it.

That one word a silent plea, asking Steve for an explanation, for help, and before Steve could even react, he was gone. With one staggering step towards Steve, Bucky’s entire body collapsed into a pile of ash on the ground before him.

Steve’s fingers shook as he reached out, touching the pile with his fingers so tenderly as if Bucky were still there and if he closed his eyes, he could almost imagine he was. He could imagine his smile, the curve of his cheek, the length of his hair; he had changed so much during his time in Wakanda, changed for the better, and now he was gone.

Taken, once again, before his time.

The pile crumbled under his touch, even the gentlest hand too much for the fragile dust and a pained sound ripped itself from the back of his throat.

_Steve?_

He withdrew his hand only to cover his eyes, forcing down the tears that were threatening to collect on his lashes and give himself a private moment to grieve. He was so tired of grieving, so tired of fighting.

Steve was just…tired.

It wasn’t fair.

Why him? Why Bucky? Hadn’t he suffered enough? Hadn’t he earned his chance to live his life, finally free of burden just like he used to be before this mess?

Why couldn’t have Thanos taken Steve instead?

_Steve…?_

A grief-stricken scream echoed throughout the forest, followed by Rhodey’s voice calling out for Sam and Steve dropped his hand from his eyes, glancing around until his gaze fell on Vision’s body, laying still across the clearing, his head in Wanda’s lap. He watched, numb, as Wanda let out an anguished cry and disintegrated in the blink of an eye.

How many had been lost? What about Tony? Sharon? Clint?

Steve stood up, giving the pile of Bucky’s ashes one last look before he straightened his shoulders and made his way to the remaining members of the team.

This was no time for tears.

* * *

 

The battle ended again, but this time it ended in victory. 

One by one, the ones that had been taken by Thanos were returned to Earth, the effects of the Infinity Stones reversed to set everything right again.

In the middle of it all, bruised and bloodied, Steve Rogers stood, looking through the crowd expectantly but gradually finding himself becoming more and more disappointed.

Where was he? Where was Bucky? 

"Steve?"

Great, this again. Was this his punishment? To hear Bucky's voice forever in his mind without ever seeing him again?

"Hey, Steve!"

He jumped and turned around towards the source of the voice that was suddenly so close and definitely not just in his head.

Steve was frozen, staring in disbelief at the figure in front of him.

While his team was all around him, being reunited with their recently revived friends and loved ones, Steve was staring at the face of Bucky Barnes.

But what if it wasn’t? What if it was a dream? Another reality concocted by Thanos? Or he'd finally cracked under the mental strain?

What if the Bucky in front of him wasn’t real?

“Steve?”

“Bucky?”

He felt awful, saying a name he had once held so fondly in his heart so harshly as he forced the name from his lips. Despite how he’d heard his own name echoing in his head for the last year, he hadn’t once uttered Bucky’s name.

If he said his name and he wasn’t there, then it would have been too real.

But Bucky only smiled at him, tilting his head just so and raising an eyebrow in amusement.

“What? Everyone else gets hugs and I just get stared at?”

Steve took a step forward, then another and another, until he was within arm’s length of him. He lifted one hand and placed it against his face, cupping the familiar curve of Bucky's cheek.

Solid.

Real.

“Good to see your face again, Steve.”

Steve wound his arms around Bucky’s neck without another moment of hesitation and pressed his face into his shoulder, holding him so tightly that the average person would have probably been in pain, but Bucky was strong, and he hugged him back just as tight.

Alive.

Bucky was alive.

It started with a kiss to the shoulder, then another, before the kisses moved to Bucky’s face. Steve kissed his cheeks, his nose, his lips over and over and while Bucky laughed and tried to return each kiss, he was soon a bit overwhelmed at how frantic Steve had become.

“Steve? Steve, let up a little. I’m not going anywhere.”

The kisses continued frantically, anywhere he could reach. He was desperate to let Bucky know how much he was missed, how loved he was. Did he know how much Steve loved him? He never told him enough, he should have told him more often. Did he know that losing him for the second time had nearly destroyed him?

“Steve…Stevie, it’s okay.”

Steve’s face was wet, but he didn’t know why. It wasn’t raining, it wasn’t sweat.

“I’m here. I’m here now. It’s okay, sweetheart, don’t cry.”

Steve paused, pulling away for a moment in surprise. Crying? Was he crying? Bucky brought up his flesh hand and wiped at the wetness on Steve’s face gently, looking at him with so much love and concern.

Steve Rogers didn’t cry often. He cried when his mother passed away, when Bucky fell from the train, when he woke up in the future, during Peggy’s funeral…But he always tried to be the strong one. He had been Captain America after all; tears had been a weakness any enemy could exploit.

Steve hadn’t allowed himself to cry when Bucky disappeared, but now that he was here in front of him, he couldn’t seem to stop.

“Why so sad, doll? I thought you’d be happy to see me.”

Steve choked out a laugh, tilting his face into Bucky’s palm and welcoming the gentle stroke of a thumb against his cheek.

“I don’t think you have any idea how happy I am to see you.”

Bucky smiled, leaning in to press a kiss to his forehead.

“Hey, when I said the end of the line, I meant it.”

Steve closed his eyes, breathing in deep as the year of tension melted from his shoulders.

“Can the end of the line be retirement? I don’t think I’m cut out for this anymore, Buck.”

“If you want to retire, then I’m right there with you."

"I was thinking a nice little place in Brooklyn? Unless you'd rather stay in Wakanda?"

Bucky shrugged his shoulders. The idea wasn't totally unappealing to him. 

"Hey, I'm retired now. I've got all the time in the world to think about it."

Steve laughed. It felt so good to laugh again. 

The world was saved, everyone was home, Thanos was dead. 

And Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes were officially retired.

"Sounds like a plan to me."

**Author's Note:**

> Still suffering btw
> 
> Bring my boy home.


End file.
